Buffy is on her way to her first class, where she is formally introduced to Xander, one of fifty comic relief characters in the series (including Buffy).
BUFFY: Hey, chud!
XANDER: No my name is Xandytzra oh no I got tongue tied!!!!
BUFFY: haha gay
Buffy continues to her class, and sits down next to Cordelia. Cordelia is a crazy girl who loves shopping and shoes and shopping for shoes. She also says “so” and “like” a lot, like, so much, like, it’s so, like, annoying, like, but I think it’s how kids actually, like, talked, like, in the early 90s, so, like, hello?
CORDELIA: Oh! What’s your name!
BUFFY: My name is Buffy!
CORDELIA: No seriously! What’s your name!
BUFFY: No, my name is Buffy. Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
CORDELIA: Woah do you slay vampires???
BUFFY: No?? Who told you I did that??? Shut your fucking mouth oh my god you piece of shit
CORDELIA: i like shoes :(
Buffy goes to the library to meet Giles but actually it is to get a book out from the library because she came to all of her morning classes woefully unprepared even though she goes on and on about how she wants to do well at school
GILES: Ah! I’ve been expecting you.
BUFFY: Say it, don’t spray it!
GILES: I’ve just the book you’re looking for, too, my child.
BUFFY: Oh, that’s good!
Giles slams onto the desk a giant, dark, ancient tome; something of pure magic, flowing with occult vibes and all matter of heeby jeeby mumbo jumbo.
BUFFY: “Bronze Tanned Naked Male Asses: A Visual Guide”
GILES: Oh, wait, is that the wrong book? You wanted this one, right?
Giles removes the tome and places instead a history textbook.
BUFFY: BRING BACK THE ASSES AND NO-ONE GETS HURT